I hadn’t cooked for a couple of days and, well, it was starting to feel unnatural....
There was all that chicken in the freezer I had bought on sale that, well, needed to be cooked. I had my choice -- legs, thighs, breasts with bone, breasts off the bone -- but, well, I didn’t want to. I just don't want to. I could see there was no arguing with that, so I didn’t.
Fine, now what? How about we go see if steak is on sale at Grauls?… O.M.G.!, steak is on sale at Graul’s!: T-Bone, so called, a.k.a. Porterhouse, and here are two nice ones under $7. Let us buy both, one for tonight, one for the freezer.…
Back home, now what? The pressure’s on. What of the many vegetables we made us buy today befits such a steak, such a sale? There's asparagus -- okay okay, but what, just steam it and dress it? Pathetic. If you had some other seriously cooked vegetable, okay, simplicity in counterpoint, but really, with a steak it doesn’t count just steamed. No use arguing. Well, what if we bread and fry it? Remember that nice Blog testimonial from that dad about that brat that liked it? Yes, that is troublesome enough to count. And with that, you’re permitted to just bake that skinny sweet potato, which will take as much time as to do the rest. Deal.
First, let’s wash and wrap that sweet potato in foil, and get it into in a 400 degree oven, with some bread too. Now snap off ends of asparagus and put to soak. Now prep steak: blot dry; rub all over with garlic halves; salt and pepper heavy; massage with oil; put to rest.
Time for temporizing. Lucky we got that paté from Grauls too. Bread’s about ready for it. Let’s fancify and put a teaspoon of salted capers to soak in a tablespoon of white Balsamic. Grab bread; grab cutting board; slice thin slices; smear thickly with paté; grab capers with fork from vinegar and sprinkle on. Pretty yummy (for Frenchy-foo), but needs glass of sparkling. Good thing we got that cheerful [Read cheap] Brut Rose. Yes, that’ll do. Maybe a faithful olive or two too.
Back to asparagus: drain; in same bowl, beat egg with salt & pepper, dollop of milk; now toss asparagus in same. Snag and lay out paper towel; pour out seasoned bread crumbs with a little flour. Do we have patience to dip asparagus a few at a time in egg, then bread crumbs? We do not. What the hell, let’s dunk ‘em all at once, with vigorous tossing to compensate for slovenliness. Okay, lift out and drain; now plunk onto breadcrumbs: grab towel edges, and rock and roll to coat. Okay, to compensate for fast-‘n-dirty dip, back into egg again! Toss, toss -- Ugh, sticky fingers, I hate sticky fingers. Back onto bread crumbs: paper-towel rock 'n roll, rock 'n roll, rock 'n roll—okay, okay, okay.
Pour out pool of oil in frying pan and heat over medium heat for slow sizzling.... Wait, isn't that 40 or 45 minutes the potato's been in? Past time to unwrap it, put on drip pan, and turn up heat to blacken.... Now back to frying pan. Oil’s hot enough; in go asparagus stalks, to sizzle gentle. Meanwhile, let’s put the grill on to heat up for steak….
Let’s peek into frying pan: asparagus golden enough to turn asparagus stalks over. Let's check grill: grill’s hot enough for steak. Let's not check sweet potato because maybe sweet potato needs more time, but tough, because steak wants on, so on goes steak: count 60 mississippis [who care’s whether that’s a Scrabble word or not]. Okay, 60, turn over, but let’s press first, especially near the bone. Okay, over. One mississippi, two mississippi, … sixty mississippis! Press here, press there, especially near the bone, and over we go, my Pretty, but with a quarter-turn, for cross hatching. One Mississippi, two mississipppi … forty mississippi. I think that’s enough for you, Miss Slim. Over we go, for crosshatch,on your pretty derriere as well. Done, and done well for not being well-done. Let’s set you to rest, and see to the rest.
Well, those asparagus look fine, but what about we turn them over again to side one, for a crisper finish, while we see to our ‘tato…. Potato enough done, if not well-done. Cut open, slash, slash, slash; season steaming with much salt, much pepper, not much grinding of fresh nutmeg -- ah, aromatic! -- a drizzling of extra virgin, and then much butter, yes, much butter, if you refuse to cook for real, then much butter in the breach.
Okay, asparagus crisped! steak relaxed! sweet potato glossy! Dinner! Pour red wine. Shoot shot for Blog.
Eat, drink, and be content!
